Well here it is my first post. So I guess if anyone is going to follow me, or understand where I'm coming from then they should probably know a little bit about me first...
My name is Vicky, and I'm not your average teenager. I had a pretty happy family, at least I thought so. I lived a middle class life with my mom, dad, and 4 younger siblings; Ashly, Stephanie, Laura, and Bryan. At the end of my Freshman year,we all moved to China with my dad for work. That's when everything changed, my dad cheated on my mom, and things have never been the same. We all moved back for the beginning of my senior year. Things were tough; my mom resented my dad for still being in China while she had to take care of all the kids, and everyone fought ALL the time. I hated it and couldn't wait to get out. On move in day to college my mom told me her divorce was finalized and our house was being taken away...great way to start school right? So now I've been at school for almost a year and have to deal with the constant fighting between all my family members at home, as well as staying focused on school work.
As much as I hate watching my family fall apart, I hate more how it's effected me personally. I'm 19 years old and have never been in a relationship. I watched my family fall apart, and my dad cheat on my mom. I want to believe in love, and that I could be loved, but I don't see it happening. And I'm not the kind of girl who does the whole "one-night stand" thing so as you may have guessed I'm still a virgin, which become more uncomfortable as each birthday passes. Because now I'm afraid I'll never find that one guy who thinks I'm good enough to wait for. It's not like I haven't had offers from guys, it's just ever guy I'm interested in, doesn't feel the same for me, which is just like being second best to other girls..who always seem to have that sex appeal I lack.
So to whoever out there reading, or even cares, this my life so far. Please feel free to give all the advice you'd like because, I feel like I'll never be able to talk about these issues with my friends, they just don't understand.
hey there!
ReplyDeleteThanks for following!
Good start on your blog giving us some background information. I know it feels like you'll never find a guy who is willing to actually date you before sex, and that it is so messed up that you can't have a relationship before sex. I waited longer too, to lose my virginity but because I'm such an out going and flirtatious person people would assume that i was sexually active. What I am trying to say is everyone loses their virginity in different ways and on their own schedule. I know how you feel about your virginity almost being a burden because to guys it's too much pressure to be your first especially in college. I have found that there are in fact guys who will wait before you have sex and date you after :)
my ex and current boyfriend are only two guys of the thousands who would do that!
So keep your chin up buttercup!
:)
-Color
http://hellomydove.blogspot.com/